Monday, March 15, 2010

Why We Love* the 80's Part I: My Hair

Hey! Dancin'! is really bringing back the good ol' 1986 memories. Out of everything that comes to mind when I think of my childhood during that great* decade, what really stands out are my epic struggles...with my hair.

Now, granted, that gorgeous* lady isn't me, but because I couldn't find any pics of my own 80's hair ("couldn't" meaning "wouldn't") she graciously donated her face for this post.

80's hair was big. And my baby-fine, heat-resistant, curl-resistant, everything-resistant coif just wasn't up to the challenge. I tried to spiral perm my hair so many times that I'm shocked it didn't simply go on strike and fall out. I remember buying bottles of Rave #4 and using an old tooth brush and a curling iron with a circumference the size of a fishing pole to coax my bangs 3 inches off my forehead -- only to watch them wilt and fall the moment I stepped out into a mild breeze.

But the ultimate futility?

Banana clips.
Other girls had curly, frosted-tip manes flowing in a perfectly centered cascade down the middle of their backs while I had long, anemic straggles, incapable of even holding the clip in. Walking down the hallway at school was inevitably too much jostling for my languid hair to handle, and the clip would simply slide all the way down and sit on my back or, worse yet, completely drop out and hit the floor.

Hey! Factory! How about doing a show that takes place in the 90's? Flannels, ripped jeans, baggy clothes...not only could I finally put away my pencil-sized curling iron and bottles of Aussie Liquid Cement spray, but also I didn't even have to wash my hair. In fact, not washing my hair made me look fashionable! Now that's my kind of decade.

*- an indication of slight sarcasm

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