Dateline: Factory

Chicago. May 30th-June 6th

Seven Things I've Learned In The First Week Of LOA Rehearsal

1)Fight Rehearsal, or How I Learned to Parry:

For those of you in the theater community reading this, I'm sure you've all experienced rehearsals in a space other than where the performance will eventually take place. It's never a really big deal; kinda like having the hiccups. A minor inconvinience, but you know at some point you'll be breathing again. And there's no comparison to tech week when there's the constant give and take adjustments going on all the time. Like trying to win an argument with my wife. Luckily, I always manage to duck when she chucks a Fresnel at me. I'm all about similie.

2) Sweating:

I try not to, but my glands are tied. There's no better way to get to know a complete stranger than sliding together like freshly harvested eels at a 4am Japanese fish market, (thanks for the similie tip, Bourdain). It's even better if you already know the person. 'Cause then it's like, "Hey! This deepens our friendship! We don't even need a towel for this"! Note to all directors: Stage combat rehearsal in the month of June equals cast bonding, (I'm talking to your collective armpits Sevigny and Dughi).

3) Rehearsing in a Former Funeral Home, or How One of Our Cast Members Sees Dead People:

Funeral homes are fun, let's all agree. I mean, you never know what will happen. Well, you might have a general idea. But there's always something going on. Lingering spirits, for instance. During rehearsal I tried to deliver a right cross to Gorsky's chin and turned into Whoopi Goldberg. It was fun for a while since I was the only black person in the cast, but eventually everyone called me on my relationship with Ted Danson. I cried openly, (but it might have been Whoopi's tears) and went down the street for some hot links. Engle was pissed.

4) How I Figured Out How to Reinforce the Relatively Recent Pride That Comes with Proclaiming Yourself a "Geek", Wondering if You Should go to That Party or Not When You'd Rather Stay Home Pounding PowerAde with Your Buddies for an "Old School" Night of Dungeons and Dragons, or How to Take the Concept of "Viral Video" and reduce it to a "Viral Phrase" via the Interwebs:

Geek-O-Friendly

5) BARS: Why are they located next to theaters?

Tip: If you go to the Burlington (pronounced grandly in descending tone as "UHtheburlington"), bring your night vision goggles. And I'm convinced Dukes is run by canines. That is all.

6) Shooting a Promo in the Rain, or How None of the Tennants Appreciated Corri's Wonder Woman Costume (except a little kid):

Shannon and Chuck were gracious enough to let us film on their sharecroping expanse of cement, but I should quit smoking. Nothing like doing a fight full-speed multiple times. And then gasping like a Lung Fish that just reached land. See? Similie and Sea Creatures. Which is the name of my next album.

7) How to End a Blog:

JAZZ HANDS!!!