Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Catching Up With.....Kirk Pynchon

As a follow-up to yesterday's blog, I caught up with Kirk Pynchon for another hard-hitting, provocative interview that only the Factory blog can provide!!!  Enjoy.....at your own risk!  This back-and-forth is EXPLOSIVE!

Kirk Pynchon

Favorite Factory Memory:
My Favorite Factory Memory has got to be playing UNO during "Bitches". All of us guys in drag while we fought over a stupid kid's card game was truly hysterical. The fact that we changed the cards that read "pick four" to "pick 25" made it all the more funny.

Have you recently boycotted any store or product? If so, why?
I am currently boycotting Quizno's Subs because their free sub giveaway turned out to be a fiasco with many of the Quizno's shops refusing to participate. Fuck Quizno's.
While in L.A., you spent some time working with Tim Robbins and the Actors' Gang. What are the three things you learned as a result of that experience?
1) Bush was a bad president
2) Bush was a bad president
3) Bush was a bad president
You and Jesse Dienstag wrote ManCard, which was a huge hit and helped put the then-fledgling Factory Theater on the map in Chicago. What was it about that show that appealed to so many people?
I think what people liked about it was that we celebrated and mocked young white guys at the same time, which back then hadn't been done before. People seemed to appreciate the fact that we knew we were stupid but that we loved being that way.

If you could challenge George Clooney to any game, what would it be? If you won, how much would you taunt him?
Honestly, it would be basketball. Everyone says he's really good, but I think I could bully him on defense a bit. And, actually, I would taunt him very little. After I beat his ass I would walk up to him, shake his hand and say, "Good game, Mr. George Clooney. You played basketball like you acted in "Batman and Robin" - poorly and with enlarged nipples."

What Hollywood actor/actress most deserves a punch in the face?
Your mom. See? See how I do it?

(Editor's Note:  I just like to hold Kirk's mom gently, and caress the thigh.....)
"The Crying Game" sketch from Man Card is still one of the all-time great scenes in Factory history. What are your memories of it today? It always got HUGE laughs and often applause. How did you guys come up with it?
That movie was so huge in 1993 and everyone kept talking about "the secret". And one of my idiot friends went ahead and told me the secret (that the woman Gabriel Byrne was in love with was actually a guy) BEFORE I saw the movie. So when I went to see "The Crying Game" anyway I knew ahead of time what I was getting into. And the whole time I'm watching the movie I kept thinking, "I know that's a dude - but that dude is pretty fucking hot". So the whole confusion of feelings inspired the sketch. And when I talked to Jesse about he said, "I feel the exact same way." And we just knew that we had to write something about it and put it in the show.

And just a side note, let me thank you, Mr. Beyer, for coming up with the idea of doing our reaction of realizing Jaye Davidson was a dude in slow motion. It literally made the piece (you will get no more thank you's in this interview).

Jesse and I loved doing that sketch. it was really our centerpiece. Even if we were having an off night we knew "The Crying Game" sketch would win the crowd back. Even when we did it in LA five years after the movie came out we still got a great response. And in the great Factory Theater tradition we kept adding and extending the sketch just to milk more laughs and stroke our egoes!

You ended Man Card with "A Whole New World", which at first seemed out of place with the rest of the show but was in fact the perfect ending. What was the idea behind putting that at the very end?
Lip syncing to "A Whole New World" was really just a fluke. Jesse and I knew we needed to end the show in some big way but we were too lazy to write another sketch. That fucking song was everywhere in 1993 and we just thought it would be funny if two guys sang a love duet to each other. We barely rehearsed and when we did we mostly just laughed. And when we performed it we figured at rock bottom the gang at the Factory would enjoy it. We had no idea that it would work so well and only later realized that the lyrics of the song fit with what we were writing for the show.

Another side note - Now that I have 2 kids I constantly have to play that "A Whole New World in the car for them. And all I can think about when I hear the song is how lucky Jesse and I were that we got away with lip syncing to it. It's such a dumb song.

Word association: I'll give you a name/word and you type whatever comes to mind.
1. Prince - The man plays over 25 musical instruments.
2. Cookies - The one weakness I cannot overcome.
3. LeBron James - Cleveland's savior
4. Scott OKen - This is the God's honest truth. Scott is one of the most naturally funny people in the world. He doesn't even realize how much of a genius he is.

5. Crack cocaine - Only good when combined with whores.  (Editor's Note:  Hooray!)
6. Oreos dipped in French Onion dip - A delicious taste sensation from the early 90's that makes me miss my days in Chicago.
7. Grindhouse - A massive disappointment.
8. Counting Crows - Music to kill yourself to.
9. Los Angeles - I truly love living in LA. Ironically, the weather is my least favorite part of it.
10. Anthony Michael Hall - Should be a bigger star.

You also wrote Poppin' & Lockdown 1 and 2 with fellow Factory alum Mike Meredith for the Factory, which ran both in Chicago and L.A. What are you two working on these days?
We now write screenplays with a fellow Chicagoan, James Leary. We all hate each other.
How does it feel to know that if we played one-on-one in hoops tomorrow, I would beat you like a little bitch?
Mike, you are a very talented player. You've got a nice jumper, good handle and shockingly good hops. That being said, you are weak minded, lack the killer instinct and after I beat you I would pimp slap you with my dick.
Billy Joel: thumbs up or down?
Geez, that is a hard question. His early stuff is AWESOME but the fact that he wrote that travesty of a song, "In The Middle of the Night" really brings him down. I'm going to give him a hesitant thumbs up.
Who's the hottest Asian chick out there right now (besides Ann)?  
Kelly Hu

(Editor's Note:  If you click on one hyperlink in your life, make it this one.  Sweet Christ.)
Your thoughts on the upcoming Three Stooges movie starring Benicio del Toro as Moe, Sean Penn as Larry and Jim Carrey as Curly?
The greatest casting choices in the history of cinema.
Explain the genius of White Men Can't Jump for those who need to learn:
It is genius based on this one line from the movie. Before a big game a rival basketball player taunts at Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes: "You and the Cream of Wheat Man get the fuck back to Mayberry. And tell Aunt B. she better get me my bean pies or I'm gonna kick her ass!"


Corrbette said...

This made me spit liquid everywhere. Of course, Beave, your mom didn't mind. She's used to it.
Thanks for the amazing interviews. Seriously. Keep em comin!

Colin said...

A fantastic post. I really like to read about the early formations for the greatness the Factory is today. I wish I had known Kirk but it's great to read about him. 1993 seems much clearer to me now.

As for the Crying Game stuff, it's hilarious to read about and must have been even funnier to see. That movie totally fooled me (no one revealed the secret to me ahead of time) and I had about the same reaction Stephen Rea did in the movie.

To piggyback on Corrbette's comment: keep these comin!